I have recently been trying to understand if there is a need to fully recover from any situation before attempting to work towards implementing positive life changes. Should I apply myself to reaching my potential, or do I need to first give myself time and space to recover? It does seem contradictory to place the weight of improving and moving forward on my shoulders when maybe all I need is to be gentle with myself until I am fully healed.
Then I thought, why can the recovering process not happen through the attainment of my potential? Through the discovery of myself and my real life, I can mend. So instead of seeing them as separate; having to give myself time to recover before I can set goals or make changes, maybe I can recover through these changes and new horizons.
After all, is there ever a right time? Won’t there always be a list of reasons, that make complete logical sense, not to start? A whole set of external circumstances will always be present. Their substance might change, but there will always be an external force waiting for us to fall victim to. The key is not to hide, not to ignore, not to run. It is to learn to perform well, obtain what we desire from life, in spite of the surrounding circumstances. That is the master to any task; taking charge of it and yourself. Learning to be enough. Ironically, what once seemed a valid reason not to start will eventually fade into something insignificant or trivial.
This opens a new concept to me that healing does not have to be a silent invisible process; it can be as loud and visible as building an empire. Rome, one of the greatest empires of all times, was built on ruins. So what other amazing things can be built from nothing? What greatness can be built in the minds that once fell apart?
I want to destroy all the foundations in my mind that were built on weakness and ignorance, and rebuild them with strength and truth. What an amazing gift it is to now have so many pieces and complete freedom to rearrange them as I wish, to have an opportunity to build my life again but this time according to what I have found as truth.
Most importantly, it is the journey that matters and not so much the end result. Yes of course I want to fully recover, and I do believe that this will happen, but it is the process from where I am now to that accomplishment that will put the finishing touches on my character and will mould me into the person I am supposed to be. I struggle to think of a better way to bring such profound meaning to this life.