On this mission to become stronger and more self-aware, I am studying and learning a lot of different concepts that I would not at first hand have considered to be useful. For example, the importance of the vocabulary I use with myself and others. It is fascinating to learn what a strong effect our language can have on the way we behave. Even in my projects I do use words like ‘struggle’, ‘heal’ and so on, which bring with them a reference to something negative. Although it is important to recognise the reality of the situation, if you want to truly change you need to shift the focus onto the direction you want to go in.
The words we use stimulate our thoughts. An excessive use of negative words will cause a negative thought spiral. I need to learn to use more constructive words that have the same meaning. So instead of ‘healing’, which implies that something is broken, I could try ‘improve’ or ‘build’ or even just ‘change’. Instead of ‘struggle’ I could try ‘challenge’ or ‘opportunity’.
By changing the words I use, I will inevitably change the way I feel and what I am thinking about. I can also modify my view of any situation, leading to better coping and adaption skills.
As I know from past experiences, the thing that really makes me change is simply being able to see that there is another way. This means just clearing my mind for a moment and seeing that if, for example, I was analysing 3 options unsure of which one to take, somehow I become aware of a 4th option. That is what can start a complete hurricane of change. It would never have been possible to see this fourth option if I did not start thinking in that direction.
This implies that it is also very important to select who we listen to, what we read, the people that surround us, what we ourselves talk about, inner self talk and what we watch. This all feeds the direction of our thoughts and consequently our lives. What is it that we are feeding our minds with?Is it thoughts of opportunity and growth, or sadness and destruction? What kind of people do we admire?
With this selective filtering, I hope to be able to continue to create new pathways in my mind so I can discover new possibilities for myself in this life, and hopefully inspire others to do the same.
As I said before, I am not for ignoring the reality of a situation. Negative situations do exist and can only be dealt with if we recognise and attend to them, not by hiding or pretending they don’t exist. The key is to not get too caught up in the negativity that we forget where it is we actually want to go (a more positive direction).
When water is frozen, if it is free from impurities, it will form ice crystals that look like snowflakes. If the water is however polluted, it will simply freeze without any formation. I find a very profound metaphor in this: when life throws difficulties at us, we often freeze, not knowing what to do. If what is inside us is pure and positive, that moment of freezing can be so beautiful. A sparkling crystal, unaware of the utter beauty in its transformation, continues to shine until it melts again into water and returns to flow with the rhythm of life. It doesn’t realise how beautiful it is, it only feels frozen and perhaps that is painful. It doesn’t realise how positive the change will be once it melts. That is us. May we continue to purify ourselves so our transitions in life can be as beautiful.